Banyak yang mengatakan “best thing happen when unexpected”, karena itu aku tidak menyesal [pernah] memiliki cinta itu.
The love itself is a great, most-comfortable thing that ever happened in my life, it’s a colour of my rainbow. And I won’t cry because it come to an end, but I will smile because it happened.
Aku merasa tenang saat tanganmu memelukku, berpikir bahwa inilah hidupku, pelukan ini akan selalu menjadi milikku, that is where I belong. It felt so happy, when you stared at me while I’m sleeping. I saw you crying afraid of losing me, then I said to myself “Don’t worry, I would never leave you”. I’m sorry, I couldn’t keep it.
Saat kita menyadari bahwa cinta ini tidak lagi sehat, aku hanya berdoa semoga hatiku diberi keringanan untuk melepaskanmu. Aku tak ingin berhenti menangis, aku hanya ingin melepaskanmu karena inilah yang terbaik untuk kita berdua. Our life pointed to the opposite directions.
Ini adalah hari pertama our ‘official’ break up. My nights will be back to tears and valiums, I guess i couldn’t keep myself away from those things, it already become part of my life. I never mean it when I said I wanna quit consuming those drugs. I need them to comfort me since I dont have your arms and kisses anymore. But it’s not a punishment, it just a way to get you out of my fragile heart.
I try to say my goodbye, throwing out the book and start again. Dan, aku baru menyadari bahwa kita tak pernah memiliki apapun, cinta kita pun hanyalah sesuatu yang rapuh dan mudah terbakar. Tak bisa dijadikan pondasi bangunan yang indah dan kokoh. We have nothing left. Maybe, we never had anything at all.
“Farewell to thee! But not farewell to all of my fondest thoughts of thee. Within my heart they still shall dwell.” [Shakespeare]
Don’t forget to remember me when someday you look back at this time.
-Abi-
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